definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm bleeding and have questions
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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