Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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