I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
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Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
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Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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