You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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