remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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