Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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