I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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