Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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