pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
