Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
