OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
