i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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