I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize