found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You pole danced in your parka.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
