I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
