LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
