Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
