but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
