are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
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