I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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