His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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