hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
