Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
