i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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