its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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