Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
