Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If I die, sorry about rent.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
