It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
