i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I wear drunk well.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
