spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
