Dual....:-)
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
