Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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