What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
