i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
