And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
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Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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