it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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