i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
