who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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