The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
