I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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