Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
