you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
