he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
