Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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