Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
