It's like God shit irony all over that family
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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