Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
