watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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