We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
