Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
