The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
