we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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