she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
