....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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