Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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