i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
