What did we do last night that was yellow?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
