and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
