just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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