i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
my liver is dry heaving
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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