why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
we're chasing vodka with high fives
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
it's like heaven, but drunker
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
