I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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