yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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