Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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