Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
