I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize